Here comes October!

Every Sunday, after my afternoon nap,the moment I wake up,
I’ll start realizing that there are ample of things for me to do.
School exams, school activities, St. John stuff, assignments, money, etc.
That’s why, to be honest, I dislike Sunday afternoons.

Sometimes I really hate to go to school, but sometimes I really love school.
I’m tired, not physically, but mentally.
I’ve got many things to settle, which I always postpone, because I hate to face consequences.
I’m irresponsible, I know.
I hate to see teachers, I hate to talk to the ex-committee in school.
I hate it when I see all the documents accumulated, with so many debts and accounts unsolved.
But still, I need to do.

I want to get my money back! I’d asked the teacher a few times, and she always ignores my request and start talking about other stuff. I dislike her, she is irresponsible. She always give me the same answer: the money is not with her, she can do nothing. Hello, you are a teacher, you know. How can you say such thing? Unfortunately, she is now undergoing her maternity, so no choice, I have to delay the issue.

I want holidays. I don’t want next year to come, because 2011 shall be my nightmare. I can’t imagine how life will be next year. I want this year to go as slow as possible, really, I’m fearful.
I’m struggling with many dilemmas, and I’m at wits end trying to figure out how to confront all my problem, still, no solutions yet.
I gave up my pianos, and accounts. I took a very courageous step to make that decision. I’m in despair. SPM! I fear that I can’t cope up with all the subjects and piano.
And currently, I'm crazy of guitar. I wanna learn, but I don't think I've got the time.

I love weekends, I look forward to YP, to church. And another reason is, no school.
I often wonder who am I, where’s the real me…I don’t know.
I want to leave all my worries and go out to experince nature and have fun with friends, to do the things I love to do. But, that’s a tough thing to achieve.
And the only thing that I can do is to make the common gesture whenever I’m blank-shrugged.
All I have to do now, is to pray and to seek the Scriptures in order to find comfort.
PS:I don't have to go to school for certain days for the next two weeks, because of PMR. I'm glad that I'm free, for the moment.
Yay! :)